Before parents welcome children in foster care into their home, they go through hours of training and special classes to prepare them for the transition. But what about their biological kids? They also experience changes, but there is no formal training on what to expect or how to navigate those changes.
That’s why Karcie Clark, our Moberly Area Coordinator, decided to create the Bio-Connect group.
“I’ve had families come to me in the past and share struggles their biological kids were experiencing due to foster care,” Karcie said. “I also have coworkers who have shared their past experiences as a bio kid in a fostering family.
“Honestly, I wish I would have implemented something sooner. It wasn’t until one of our foster dads came into my office and said his daughter was really struggling with boundaries and sharing space with her foster sister, and they just didn’t know how to handle it—this was uncharted territory. He said, ‘There is training (STARS) for parents but nothing for the kids.’ The next day, I created Bio-Connect.”
Bio-Connect is a bimonthly meeting specifically for biological children of foster parents. They meet for an hour and a half to eat dinner, play games, and have group discussions. The groups are split up by age to talk about specific topics and set personal goals. The program launched with a positive start.
“The first meeting was great,” Karcie said. “I received very positive feedback from parents. I think it’s important for bio kids to feel important too. So much changes for them, however, not all of it is bad. They are learning to share their space and attention from their parents. Kids in foster care have weekly visits with biological family members, counseling appointments, respite events, etc. I love the idea of bio kids having a space just for them.”
Karcie’s goal in creating this group was to give biological children of foster parents a safe space to be heard and to empower them to speak up if they are struggling or have concerns.
“Sometimes kids don’t feel comfortable talking to their parents about the struggles they may be experiencing,” Karcie said. “I had one kid say ‘My parents are already so stressed about court, FSTs, and behaviors that I don’t want to add more worry for them.’”
The Bio-Connect group also helps the children see they are not the only ones experiencing similar challenges and lifestyles.
“I had one kid say ‘I didn’t realize there were other kids like me, dealing with the same things,’” said Karcie.
Bio-Connect lets them know they are not alone. And just as our heavenly Father is “the God who sees” us (Genesis 16:13), we want the biological children of foster families to know that they are seen, and they are special.
For more information about joining the group, please visit: https://coyotehill.org/events/bio-connect-group/.
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