Tabetha Soltvedt has had a long foster care journey—navigating kinship foster care, adoption, significant grief and loss, and now traditional foster care. For Tabetha, everything started with a surprise phone call.
“I got a call one Friday at noon,” Tabetha shared. “I was super confused—I had never even looked into foster care.”
This call was from a caseworker, asking her if she would be interested in fostering a newborn baby. She knew the baby’s family, but not well. They had listed her as a potential contact.
After asking a lot of questions, Tabetha said yes. This caseworker brought a newborn baby boy to her home at 6 p.m. that same day.
Nine months later, this child’s case goal changed, and Tabetha moved forward with Spaulding Training, a required class for adopting out of foster care. She also fostered two siblings who were born within the same family as her other son.
Tragically, one of these siblings passed away. The other sibling eventually moved to a different home so he could have more access to services and therapies that he needed.
At this point, Tabetha had adopted her son, and decided to take a break from fostering. About a year later, she felt a pull to become traditionally licensed.
Carley McCoy, our Moberly Area Coordinator, had previously been Tabetha’s caseworker before she worked at Coyote Hill, so Tabetha signed up for our Moberly foster parent training last November. She welcomed a child into her home in December, and was officially licensed in January.
Since then, she has welcomed multiple children into her home for respite, emergency, short-term, and long-term stays. She currently has two sisters: one five-year-old and one twelve-year-old, in addition to her adopted son and her three biological children.
Over the last eight months, Tabetha has navigated a lot of highs and lows with the help of her Family Advocate, Courtney, in addition to our monthly Jefferson City area community group.
“I would not be fostering without my Family Advocate,” Tabetha said. “Having Courtney as a partner [on this journey] is vital to me. I was so lost and alone in my last foster care experience. Having someone sit in on Family Support Team meetings and someone to talk to, someone who’s my person, is a huge factor in keeping a healthy mentality.”
In the time that these two sisters have been in her home, Tabetha has seen remarkable growth socially, behaviorally, and emotionally. The younger sister came into Tabetha’s home not using words frequently, but now she is using full sentences and is having fun in school. The twelve-year-old likes her school, is participating in new activities, and making friends.
Even with this growth, there are still rough patches and difficulties to address. As they navigate big behaviors as a family, Tabetha can see them feel more comfortable in her home.
“You can see them begin to feel safe and figuring out who they are,” Tabetha said. “You can see them become themselves.”
Tabetha shared that she has done a lot of hard work to change her attitude towards biological parents along her fostering journey. Although Tabetha’s adopted son has not reunified with his biological mother, his younger brother has reunified, and his biological mother has another child. For the last 15 months, Tabetha and her son have been able to visit with his biological mom and his two siblings at least once per month at local playgrounds or indoor play places.
Tabetha is grateful that her son can maintain these biological relationships, and advocates for reunification when possible.
“We can be the safe space for these kids while their parents get the help that they need,” Tabetha said. “We are one piece of the puzzle—we are on a team with the biological parents.”
Tabetha has one piece of advice to share with anyone who is thinking about fostering: “Advocate for your kid. Hard. I know it can be scary, but make sure your voice is heard. Write the email, make the phone call.”
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